Hello everyone ….. I’m so sorry I disappeared I did read your comments and wanted to reply to the last ones but really didn’t know what to say ……
I guess I’ve been very lost since my last post, I just gave up trying and something in me just thought oh well your an alcoholic so just accept it and carry on….. So I did I just carried on ….. drinking as much as I fancied really, whenever wherever.
I’ve thought about this blog so many times then shut it out I didn’t want to face things.
So in the last year or so since starting this blog a lot has happened. The reason I titled this post ‘So many reasons’ is because there’s been so many reason in my head to drink and try to make myself feel better, but there are so many reasons to now stop … There were reasons before when I started this blog bur believe me I’ve spent the last year accumulating so many more …..
I’m not going to go in to gory detail about some of the drunken incidents I’ve had, I’m not ready for that yet but let’s just say there’s been a few that I can cringe at!!!
In the last year I’ve put on over 2 stone in weight ….. wine has a lot of calories!!
My children are making regular comments about my drinking, I now sometimes hide it from them to avoid the grumbles I may get. Whenever I tell my 5 year old it’s wine in my glass his favourite comment of late is ..” your going to be drunk!!”.
My partner / ex ( it’s complicated) has made several comments on my drinking, we’ve argued about it, he’s also been there for the cringe worthy events. He’s also been part of the reason I’ve drank at times…..
My finances are in a pretty sad state as I can’t afford to drink as much as I do ….. how sad!!
I don’t feel very healthy …esp being this weight now!!
I’m not a asking for sympathy lol I guess I’m just writing down not just for others but for myself to see …. All the reasons why I just have to try again and put the brakes on to prevent this getting even worse!
I really do hope that those of you who got in touch with me regularly are all doing well, I’m sorry I disappeared but I did think of you all very often and hoped you would all be doing better than I was at the time!! I’m happy to be back 😊